Transitions

Opening a book to a random page or two

Sometimes it's fun to open spiritual books to a random page and realize that whatever gem is on that page is useful to contemplate such as this one today on page 112 in Only Love:

The striving devotee ought also to adopt a neutral attitude toward life; not callous indifference, but rather, as Paramahansaji has said, "Instead of cultivating endless desires, which do not always bring happiness, think of life in this way: 'Lord, you have put me in this body. I didn't ask to be born. It is You who are dreaming my existence.'" In other words, realize that you, and all other forms of life, are but condensed or materialized thoughts of God. All that we are, all that we have, belongs to Him; of ourselves we are nothing. In Him, we have everything; in Him, we are everything. In that consciousness let us perform good works, let us enjoy the good fruits of this life. 

And from page 45 in the same book:

Be an example of what you want others to be...change yourself! That is the best way to change those around you. It is hard to do, but it can be done. One's effort should be directed toward making himself a person who is respected and looked up to; whose word carries weight. 

And from page 46:

So long as you show nervousness and tension around your husband or wife or children, they will react and behave in a similar way. It can't be otherwise. So if you want a different atmosphere in your home, you have to take the initiative. Do not expect an overnight change in your family. That seldom happens; change is a slow, natural process. And even if it never comes, do not be discouraged or overly concerned. Guruji used to say to us, "God gave every human being a blessed gift: the privacy of his own thoughts. Therein he can live and silently create a companionship and understanding with God that will gradually begin to reflect on his entire life -- including his relationships with his family, his community, his world." Even if those around you do not change perceptibly, the change that is wrought within yourself makes you less vulnerable to the misbehavior of others. 

Living with Ambivalence

A Swim in Denial

What we can't think about and how it shapes us.

by Kirby Farrell, Ph.D.  

Ambivalence can be paralyzing, exasperating, or intimidating when you have to admit that we're of two minds (at least) about everything.

The idea began to intrigue me when I found to my amazement that most (smart) college students I asked were unable to define ambivalence. They confused it with ambiguity and equivocation. The concept that we have conflicted feelings and attitudes about everything seemed strange to them, or only hazily familiar.   

 The truth is, ambivalence is everywhere and worth knowing about. For instance, you're telling somebody what you really want to get done today, and you sit there earnestly elaborating the details, over and over and over, until your friend finally gets up saying, "Well, I shouldn't keep you," pulling the ambivalence alarm to get you moving.

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Sometimes Agony and Ecstasy Coexist

Humans are capable of being happy and sad simultaneously.

Published by Adam Alter in Alternative Truths

Emotions arise from deep within our reptilian brains, and we sometimes mistake their primitiveness for simplicity. When someone says they're feeling a certain way, we have a pretty good idea of what that means; we have an intuitive sense of what it means to be happy and sad, hateful and enamored, proud and embarrassed--but what dawned on me during my blissfully painful run was how often we experience two seemingly contradictory emotions simultaneously.

Many films similarly inspire happiness and sadness simultaneously. Roberto Benigni's Life is Beautiful is one such film, as Benigni's character tries to shield his son from the horrors of the Nazi death camps by turning life into a game. The audience laughs at Benigni's clownish antics one minute, and remembers the terrible gravity of the backdrop the next minute. (The critics felt similarly ambivalent: the Chicago Sun-Times' Roger Ebert lauded the film for finding "the right notes to negotiate its delicate subject matter," whereas Salon.com's Charles Taylor complained about "the sheer callous inappropriateness of comedy existing within the physical reality of the camps.")

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How to Handle Multiple Desires

Desire is complicated, and we often feel ambivalent about what we want most

Published by  Leslie C. Bell, Ph.D., LCSW in Hard to Get

Many of us, it turns out, want seemingly contradictory things. We want to be independent but we also want to be taken care of. We want a respectful and communicative partner but we also are drawn to people who are distant.

Desire is a complicated thing, and pretty much always involves some ambivalence. We rarely want one thing completely and purely. More often than not, and particularly when it comes to things that really matter like love and career, we have mixed feelings about what we want. So ambivalence doesn't mean not wanting something, it simply means being conflicted about what you want.

If you find yourself feeling that two desires are incompatible, for example for a relationship and a career (or insert other "for example" desires here), question that assumption and challenge yourself to imagine having both. 

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I would have to say that I have lived and continue to live most of my life in ambivalence (work, relationships, diet, exercise, politics, religion, societal expectations, cultural norms), the one exception being my spiritual life or spirituality in general -- the more, the better. And perhaps because I am NOT ambivalent about spirituality, the conflicts I experience in the rest of my life don't cause undue discomfort (most of the time). Or maybe it's because I'm a dyed-in-the-wool Gemini.

Kindred Spirits

Quotations and A Sweet Prayer

Quotations from Saint Pio of Pietrelcina, O.F.M. Cap.

"Pray, hope, and don't worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer."

"Prayer is the best weapon we have; it is the key to God's heart. You must speak to Jesus not only with your lips, but with your heart. In fact on certain occasions you should only speak to Him with your heart."

"Fear not because God is with you."

"Prayer is the oxygen of the soul."

"Who can assure us that we will be alive tomorrow? Let us listen to the voice of our conscience, to the voice of the royal prophet: 'Today, if you hear God's voice, harden not your heart.' Let us not put off from one moment to another (what we should do) because the (next moment) is not yet ours. "

"Oh, how precious time is! Blessed are those who know how to make good use of it. Oh, if only all could understand how precious time is, undoubtedly everyone would do his best to spend it in a praiseworthy manner!"

"The life of a Christian is nothing but a perpetual struggle against self; there is no flowering of the soul to the beauty of its perfection except at the price of pain."

"The longer the trial to which God subjects you, the greater the goodness in comforting you during the time of the trial and in the exaltation after the combat."

"Even if you were to commit all the sins in the world, Jesus would repeat to you: 'Many of your sins are forgiven because you have loved much.'"

"Pray, pray to the Lord with me, because the whole world needs prayer. And every day, when your heart especially feels the loneliness of life, pray. Pray to the Lord, because even God needs our prayers."

Stay with me, Lord

Prayer of St. Pio of Pietrelcina

Stay with me, Lord, for it is necessary to have You present so that I do not forget You. You know how easily I abandon You.

Stay with me, Lord, because I am weak and I need Your strength, that I may not fall so often.

Stay with me, Lord, for You are my life, and without You, I am without fervor.

Stay with me, Lord, for You are my light, and without You, I am in darkness.

Stay with me, Lord, to show me Your will.

Stay with me, Lord, so that I hear Your voice and follow You.

Stay with me, Lord, for I desire to love You very much, and always be in Your company.

Stay with me, Lord, if You wish me to be faithful to You.

Stay with me, Jesus, for as poor as my soul is, I want it to be a place of consolation for You, a nest of love.

Stay with me, Jesus, for it is getting late and the day is coming to a close, and life passes; death, judgment, eternity approaches. It is necessary to renew my strength, so that I will not stop along the way and for that, I need You. It is getting late and death approaches! I fear the darkness, the temptations, the dryness, the cross, the sorrows. O how I need You, my Jesus, in this night of exile!

Stay with me tonight, Jesus, because in this life with all its dangers, I need You.

Let me recognize You as Your disciples did at the breaking of the bread, so that the Eucharistic Communion be the Light which disperses the darkness, the force which sustains me, the unique joy of my heart.

Stay with me, Lord, because at the hour of my death, I want to remain united to You, if not by communion, at least by grace and love.

Stay with me, Jesus, I do not ask for divine consolation, because I do not merit it, but the gift of Your Presence, oh yes, I ask this of You!

Stay with me, Lord, for it is You alone I look for, Your Love, Your Grace, Your Will, Your Heart, Your Spirit because I love You and ask no other reward but to love You more and more.

With a firm love, I will love You with all my heart while on earth and continue to love You perfectly during all eternity. So be it. Amen.

A rowdy bunch

We may have two ears and one mouth in order to listen twice as much as we speak, but that kind of thinking hasn't yet occurred to many kids in Sunday School classes who talk twice as much (if not more) than they listen. They are surely exuberant!

Today's lesson was indirectly on introspection -- trying to figure out how to know if you've had a good day or a bad day and why (#1) and what the importance of introspection is (#2). Quotes from P.Y.:

Before you go to bed each night, sit for a short time and review the day. See what you are becoming. Do you like the trend of your life? If not, change it. By self-analysis and constant watching of all your actions and thoughts and moods, you will gradually learn your true nature and how to express it flawlessly. 

Everyone should learn to analyze himself dispassionately. Write down your thoughts and aspirations daily. Find out what you are — not what you imagine you are! — because you want to make yourself what you ought to be. Most people don't change because they don't see their own faults.

We also reviewed the Eight Keys of Excellence for building character to which a whole website has been dedicated (http://www.8keys.org/):

1. Integrity

2. Failure Leads to Success (aka "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!")

3. Speak with Good Purpose (or "Speak softly and carry a big stick" -- ha ha ha -- not!)

4. This Is It! (Better worded using the title of Ram Dass' classic, Be Here Now)

5. Commitment (Make your dreams happen.)

6. Ownership (Take responsibility for actions.)

7. Flexibility (Be willing to do things differently.)

8. Balance:  Be mindful of self and others while focusing on what’s meaningful and important in your life. Inner happiness and fulfillment come when your mind, body, and emotions are nurtured by the choices you make.

When we’re in balance we make time for the things that are important to us. Staying in balance is an ongoing process about choices. We’re constantly making choices about what we do, what we say, how we feel, what we think, etc. 

There were some interesting discussions between noisy periods when all the kids were seemingly talking at once. It was nice to engage in adult conversation after Sunday School was over!

Exuberant Human Beings & Gratitude

In a recent issue of DailyGood, there was an article entitled "The 16 Habits of Exuberant Human Beings." I'm going to list the 16 habits, but the Dear Reader would need to find his way to the article itself in order to find out more about each of these habits. And the Dear Reader is also asked to take stock in his own life to see A) how many of these habits are part of his life already and B) if there are any additional habits among these 16 that he would be interested in adding to his current repertoire. So here they are:

1.  They surround themselves with other happy people.
2. They smile when they mean it.
3. They cultivate resilience.
4. They try to be happy.
5. They are mindful of the good.
6. They appreciate simple pleasures.
7. They devote some of their time to giving.
8. They let themselves lose track of time. (And sometimes they can't help it.)
9. They nix the small talk for deeper conversation.
10. They spend money on other people.
11. They make a point to listen.
12. They uphold in-person connections.
13. They look on the bright side.
14. They value a good mixtape.
15. They unplug.
16. The get spiritual.

I would wager that the Dear Reader includes most of these habits in his life. 
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OK -- from exuberance to gratitude (not too far a leap):

"Grateful: A Love Song to the World"

Musicians Nimo Patel and Daniel Nahmod brought together dozens of people from around the world to create this beautiful, heart-opening melody. Inspired by the 21-Day Gratitude Challenge, the song is a celebration of our spirit and all that is a blessing in life. For the 21 Days, over 11,000 participants from 118 countries learned that “gratefulness” is a habit cultivated consciously and a muscle built over time. As a famous Roman, Cicero, once said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” This soul-stirring music video, created within a week by a team of volunteers, shines the light on all the small things that make up the beautiful fabric of our lives.